All the Good Days in God: Marriage Contract

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Marriage Contract

Religions identify the role of husband and wife. Traditionally a husband goes to work and earns money to provide food, shelter and clothing to wife and children. A wife raises children by managing food, shelter and clothing so progeny maintain or surpass parental success.

This system for raising children is great, yet there is more to life than raising children. Every household needs supplies and management of supplies to have a better life without as much work. Life does not begin with marriage and children. There is single life before marriage and after marriage.

A single life after marriage does not imply sexual relationships with multiple partners. Both men and women have lives and thoughts of the future. We pursue knowledge and bettering the world. We desire acceptance from society and want to live to our optimum capacity.

As children grow older interacting with friends is essential. Friendship is wonderful, because it validates effort. Sometimes there is criticism, yet it is relaxing to have a realistic perspective of progress in comparison to peers. Having friends brings about a sense of peace and safety. Whether belonging to a larger group or not we all need to maintain an awareness of ongoing events that might affect us.

Frequently marriage roles cause an imbalance. Fathers complain they never see their children. Children complain about absentee fathers not being available in traumatic situations.

Mothers complain about inhibitions. They feel they are capable of doing more than raising children. Any contribution, even if a lesser amount in a part-time job relieves fears of world disintegration or never having enough for everyone.

Listening to complaints about what is causing problems, both perceptions are correct. Fulfilling the marriage oath is only a portion of life. After going to work there is time to spend with family. After caring for children there is time to contribute to society.

As a society, there are so many people. Including elderly, adults, teens and children there are fewer people than one assumes. Mortality rates forecast less than half of the people born become elderly. There are only so many healthy men to manage and maintain everything. Any additional assistance, even if two-thirds the capacity of another person, contributes the best attempt to make food, shelter and clothing available to everyone.

The marriage contract is a collaboration of skills. As a single person I began thinking of ethos behind working with another person to gain a satisfactory life. Living with family and roommates I have experience in doing my part to make the home nice for everyone and what to expect from other people in the household.

In modern times more women pursue careers to support themselves. This is another arena of thought everyone contemplates previous to marriage. Will they endure through challenges to excel into highly paid vocations? Will they manage the home and raise children? Will they balance career and family?

Realistically a pregnant wife has to stay home. New technology to extract breast milk is available, so women can get back to work. Men are capable of managing time and money so children develop at a steady pace. Nannies are available, if a family is able to afford a Nanny. The real issue is finding a spouse with similar and realistic ideals. We often do not know if ideals are realistic until gaining experience.

Thinking of professional men who spend most time working, it might be nice to arrange vacations to their workplace to spend time to talk and act as a family. It is nice to meet their coworkers. It is nice for coworkers to meet family and see why they work long hours.

Sometimes women overextend themselves. They must be career driven and an ever-present mother. They might believe this is possible only to find attempts at balancing both results in being neither a great employee nor mother. Find a realistic plan before entering marriage. It is possible to work and raise children even if teaching children a strong work ethic.

Occasionally there is dissension between couple in relation to accepting reality. People frequently grieve the loss of fantasy and engage in the Five Stages of Loss. A major stage of grief is anger. It will happen eventually. Understanding they are grieving, both husband and wife are able to grieve together. It is okay to relax occasionally. Let them vent emotions and opinions. It is important to establish boundaries and remember to love each other.

Over the course of a few long I realize relationships fall apart because emotions intensify regardless of empathy or constant bickering. Couples stay together because they want to stay together or want to avoid separation. Work on constructing a realistic plan to stay together and work through complications.

Marriage is only a part of life. The contract establishes minimum necessities for raising children. Even if children are not possible, focus efforts to collaborate into a productive team. Benefits are higher though performing different tasks. As a novice it is easier to gain insight from a distance to develop a more realistic viewpoint on marriage. If ever marrying, there are a variety of methods to cope with actual life when that life becomes apparent.

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